Integrity Simplified

INTEGRITY SIMPLIFIED

State of affairs…

While we all work so hard at what we do; we often fail to realize that in achieving the sweet fruits of our endurance and efforts, there lies irreplaceable life in the steps of the way,

We have failed to understand that opportunities come and as soon as we’ve gotten hold of them, they cease being precious; integrity on the other hand follows us around like little puppies whether we like it or not; if it’s not yet caught up with you; soon it will and you better be clean,

It’s distressing that all the time we watch and read news about corruption, fraud, infidelity among others and this seems to be the norm nowadays; it’s worrying, don’t you think?

And the fact that we seem to have accepted the “lesser sin” makes it worse,

As a matter of fact, integrity might be the only missing ingredient in our society today.

Think about it; do you remember those handshake deals a decade ago?

People would literally shake hands as a symbol of agreement and right there a contract would be made with both parties being confident that it shall be done as agreed,

Things were all good and everyone had a genuine plan on what needed to be done; until they got punched on their faces with the new realities of life orchestrated by a few sugar- coated culprits.

Today the world around us has turned integrity into one of those “posh” words that hovers in leadership circles, political campaigns, development meetings, afternoon lectures among many others; yet its practicability has long lost meaning,

And I am persuaded to pose and just ask; would you recognize integrity if you saw it?

Or even deeper; have you ever stopped for a minute to assess your integrity levels?

It clearly seems that everyone considers themselves relatively “good” and “honourable” and in one way or another, we all stand accused and the sooner we solve the problem the better for all of us and our future contemporaries,

Calling a spade a spade…

The reality is that if there is tranquillity “within” then this will automatically reflect “without” in every aspect,

It’s like a well of water; the elements’ combination determines its smell, test, value and certainly its wellness and those who’ve tested it will either warn or point others to its source,

Integrity is a compound virtue;  like a precious stone that carries with it proportions of precious essentials, integrity carries with it not only honesty but also uprightness, trustworthiness, fairness, loyalty and courage to face the consequences of a decision made or an action; and if one of all these elements is excluded then it’s no longer integrity,

If you can choose what’s right vis- a -vis convenience; then you’re a person of integrity.

You see, the call for integrity isn’t embedded only on the “huge matters of life” like political aspirations, academic achievements, business transactions, work ethics, corruption or drug dealings but also on the tiny aspects of our private lives. It begins in the miniature flaws of our hearts where people aren’t always ogling,

It’s found in those moments when we chose the easier options and cosiness over integrity,

It is a personal choice, an uncompromising and predictably consistent commitment to honour moral, ethical, spiritual and artistic standards and principles.

 

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But more importantly…

Lack of integrity in our today’s society continues to cost us all great deal; from misused funds to immeasurable cost of unsettled minds,

We therefore have to work as twice as hard to restore and build a culture of integrity in our society by aligning our words with actions bearing in mind that it doesn’t matter one’s charisma, competency or authority; one is either a person of integrity or not_ you can’t be in between,

People who fail on commitments to friends, family or close associates are unlikely to launch enduring trust with colleagues, suppliers or customers and this deeply tampers with their integrity_ you just can't fake character; it’s just a matter of time before the real you oozes out,

Integrity is a habit and this means it can be learnt and practised; it takes hard work and awareness plus the willingness to fight other desires contrary to integrity. You ought to be intentional and willing to fix things about yourself.

This is not to say that we are always right and on track_ we are imperfect beings gasping for grace and it’s critical to hold on once in a while and reflect on our actions but most importantly, when we incur errors we need to acknowledge them, face the consequences thereof and learn from them.

Integrity is a personal decision_ you can at any moment, at any circumstance choose to be in integrity regardless of what others think or even do.

So then choose where you want to be.

But first, choose to be proactive by changing yourself and your way of living,

Only then are you able to inspire others.

Mwende

CHOOSING A NEW PATHWAY

CHOOSING A NEW PATHWAY

When I'm tirelessly working so hard to afford chocolates when I crave them; something else sweeter shows up and I am constantly required to work twice as hard,

When I am out living my life and everything seems just ok; I am persuaded to go out and love,

When I am out loving and being the best that I can possibly be; situations come up and I realise how unloving I can be,

And the worst it can get is being comfortable with where I am today.

This has been my tussle_ until I finally realised that it is the way for all humanity,

Life will not always be where you want it to be_ we all hunger for more,

And as soon as we get that which we thought was treasureous; it seizes being important,

You wonder why we toiled so hard to get it!

While you are busy trekking because you can’t afford bus fare, someone is busy “throwing” parties to strangers and transport is the last thing they can think of,

While you are bitten down mourning a loved one and tears have become your daily bread; someone else just beheld their bundle of joy- a flawless new-born baby,

While you are busy wailing about how troublesome your pregnancy has become; someone just hit their menopause and pregnancy officially vacated their thought box,

While you are busy complaining about that job that you can’t stand anymore; someone has tarmacked for years and all they pray for is something to keep them busy,

While you are busy frustrating and intimidating your companion; someone dreams of creating a haven of love around them,

It so seems for all this while, we all have been transitioning to a higher spot; and the only difference is the stage you are at as an individual,

Until we realise this; we will always suffocate in unhealthy competitions and battles,

While we should be creating a self-made world of our own- a utopia of happiness,

I too I’ve struggled to break loose; until I came to a place of contentment,

A point in life taught me to hold myself gently but also accountable,

To dream bigger than myself, build wider as I strive for greater heights,

But yet it didn’t come without a lapse to remind me that I too can fail just like everyone else,

My worldviews began to speak louder and I began to live within my thoughts and aspirations,

And just when I was getting used to something, something else fancier came up,

A new building, a new friend and a new boy following me around_ and I constantly got mad because he said something that I wished someone else should have said,

What I once knew as truth soon or later became incomplete and I was required to pursue more,

Today I have a clearer picture of my purpose for living,

But I still spend a lot of my time wondering if I should be somewhere else,

Whether I should be in school pursuing my career; or out there building my home,

Whether I should be doing something larger than myself; or working on myself to be a  reflection of the world I would wish to see,

I am constantly found in pursuit of patience and strength to keep going; I stumble every day in trail for more grace,

But finally I have chosen a new pathway...

To coil every single moment with appreciation,

To be thankful for the places I’ve been to even when I thought I shouldn’t be there,

To smile about the moments I worried and cried because I thought I couldn’t make it,

To be grateful for the days gone and the laughter that was while it lasted.

I have learnt to write down those beautiful moments_ who knows; I might smile about them some day when I’m sad and draw strengthen from them,

I have learnt to write down those gloomy moments when I couldn’t hold myself together_ who knows; they might remind me in my twinkle days that life is a risk_ it only depends on how risky I want to be.

 It is a done deal!

Mwende

GREY SMOKE

GREY SMOKE

How we so fast forget!

How our promises are so short-lived!

Don’t we care any more_ how we've become detached robots thriving in selfish deals!

We tear apart our social fabric in every single word, action or thought we convey!

We fight with furry- filled destructive words and arrogant intentions!

We burn the very cities we built with our own hands; the hands that once bled from the toil!

We overthrow the policies we for decades fought for!

We slay our very own flesh!

Our paths are blood- stained and twisted!

In exchange for power and sovereignty we've stumbled on the very people we once depended!

We've invented toxic and lethal ways of doing things!

And certainly we've justified them to be the only “right” paths!

We absolutely seem to have forgotten that…

Before the fires prospered and scary noises escalated; there were families rising,

Before buildings collapsed and towers fell; there were businesses expanding,

Before cries emerged and burnt bodies fell; there were happy noises of children playing,

Neighbourhoods gathered and worked in harmony for the better good of all,

They shared meals and dreams and planned future greater moments together,

They celebrated their diversity in differences; there was always something new to learn,

Girls and boys walked freely through the villages,

Before families were crippled and disrupted; there were patriotic citizens building the nation,

Before our men were abused and tortured only to be killed later; there were women and children who looked up to them,

Before she was raped in the very eyes of her children; she was an industrious wife and mother,

Before her husband was butchered in her watch; she was secure and both held the family tightly,

And now all she does is cry; if only mere water could clean this dirtiness... So she wishes,

In a minute after another, our lives were turned into a wreck; and we are all to blame,

Yes we are to blame for not speaking up; for not FIGHTING RIGHT!

We joined our efforts for destruction…

I remember that fateful morning as I walked through our kitchen, scared to death,

I peeped through the rubble of our broken house’ windows, holding firmly my breath with a leap of faith that I would survive,

I felt nothing but darkness camouflaged in fear; in disbelief I watched black smoke coil up the skies,

Disturbing noises of people and young kids calling for help emerged through the thick soot,

“That’s him; it’s him”, I shouted out loud after hearing my neighbour’s little boy calling out from the soot,

Yes I recognized his voice; he was choking_ his life literally flashed before my eyes!

And he called nor cried no more! – Because he was no more while I should have done something to help!

Guilt, anger and rage consumed me!

A gloomy cloud of malice engulfed us and within hours our efforts had been turned into ashes,

I watched as my watery palms changed into grey and my heart sank into deep sobs,

Under the debris were bodies of our fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers and neighbours,

My spirit cried out loud and I wished you knew how war feels like,

I wished you could touch the grey smell, feel the pain as I stared at young- angry men collect charred bodies behind them,

I wished you could touch this smell in your nostrils every morning you woke up.

Property was destroyed and towns perished; as I sat through the foul moments of our past,

I heard no tribe, no clan nor personality because under that wrinkle everyone was grey,

Our morals, our wealth and certainly our souls had crumbled!

And here we are! Still struggling to rise up from our PAST!

And we refuse to GO BACK THERE!

For we have witnessed what violence, war and brutality can do!

And we cannot ALLOW IT EVER AGAIN_ NEVER!

 

We now speak up so YOU HEAR US…

Your violence has done nothing but add to the list of street families and orphans,

Your war has done nothing but add to the list of widows and widowers,

Your war has done nothing but add to the list of thugs and hooligans,

Your war has hindered us from achieving the very GOALS and AMBITIONS we set for ourselves,

Even today, I still cry…

It’s been nine years and my friend is still searching for his father,

Your war has contributed to the insecurity crisis we've found ourselves in today,

Your war added to the list of girls and boys still waiting for their fathers/mothers to come home,

And now our children need A SAFER PLACE TO CALL HOME.

ONE NATION, ONE PEOPLE!

 Mwende

THE ANT HILL

The Ant Hill

My new friend Winnie understands my newly found gist!

Wildlife_ there is just something unique about them!

The humour, the pleasantry and the strength to face another day despite the dangers!

It’s quite fascinating and mind intriguing!

But I have discovered a new world!

The enormous world of insects_ and I seem to be stuck here!

Their kingdom is growing; and it’s already reigning!

The world of ants however caught me by storm,

Like a young toddler who just discovered the pleasure of crawling; and all they do is crawl all day,

They are powerful,

Yes the Ants!

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Those small insects that live in a social colony; proverbial for industriousness.

Their coordination and focus is enticing; one would wish to live in their cosmos for a day_ just to experience such cohesion,

Yet we've always drawn parallels from our world to theirs,

These past days…

I have been watching their stringy trails at the back of my father’s house,

How they clog themselves together tightly; like the life of one depends on the other,

How they follow their created paths so faithfully; with one emphasis to make it to their place of choice,

They have kept me thinking for a while…

It must be that the most blossoming projects globally are the ant- projects,

Their complex brilliant thoughts fuse into one to build the world’s most powerful colonies,

How they excavate their underground chambers into precision; complex designs that have triggered our designs and preferences,

They have informed our innovations…

And now the world’s architectural scientists draw brilliant schemes from the outcomes of their small but glued minds,

How their behaviours aid IT experts in solving computational problems_ talk of the ant colony optimization algorithms,

How their short scale rhythms arising from mechanical activation from physical contact have excited artists,

It simply unbelievable how much we've copied from them!

In such complex livelihoods they interact; different casts of the same species you will find,

Each designed for its role; yet yielding their strengths in diversity and differences,

Their enthusiastic small bodies always willing to perform devotedly,

The female workers_ with their sharp jaws they devour and bite through anything that can be food,

The soldiers_ strong and always on the lookout to protect and guard,

The Minima_ effectively turning leaves into fungus for food; they perfected agriculture long before us,

The queen_ how she holds the colony together by bringing forth a new age band just like a mother,

All dedicated to building a gigantic emperor, yet it comes at a cost,

 The conscientious female workers abandoning their queenly ambitions,

Selflessly supporting the only queen towards procreation,

Obeying the rules of the ecosystem; for cheating undermines the cohesiveness of their union,

As they fully inspect whoever violates this important law,

In one accord, the future of their genes flow through the queen,

Giving up their selfish desires to maintaining the colony,

Raising their fellow sister into family- hood and reproduction,

And for this, the colony reproduces as a whole; just like a tree casting its pollen into the wind,

How they mysteriously trust…

With no chain of command; yet so perfectly they perform their duties,

And through smell and touch, they share and measure what each of them does,

How they constantly brush through a chemical signal to communicate; yet neither of them has ever seen the other,

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How they build such powerful emperors…

Because with one genuine oneness and shared purpose, anything is achievable,

In unity the individual vanishes to form a strong super power,

With the power to literally conquer the globe and when they show up, everything else moves or its eaten way,

Their reproduction is a shared task…

Their powerful stings injects strong enzymes breaking down into liquidifying tissues,

The far distances they move; it’s like a city of people certainly packing up and relocating to a distant city on foot,

How they link legs into a chain as the fluid grows into solid cells around the queen, as they slowly move into the queen’s skin,

And right there a generation is created; one that follows the footsteps of its elders, into sustaining the gigantic monarch,

               

If we humans therefore have a problem with ants, it is a problem we have created,

Their societies are wide and known for efficiency and expansion, destined to dominate,

There unity is inexorable,

I finally have all the answers that I need…

I'm fully convinced that following my passion has more impact than ever before,

Ignited to face the world with an optimistic eye; and a stronger will to deliver,

Just like the ants!

Mwende

MY DIVINE PREGNANCY EXPERIENCE

Please believe me when I say it came without warning!

I didn't know I was pregnant!

One early Saturday morning I was woken up by this funny tickling movement in my tiny stomach,

So I rushed out to the bathroom pretty sure that I would throw up,

But nothing seemed to come out so I went back to bed; lying to myself that I was asleep,

And even though physically calm and rested so to speak; inwardly wrestling with unknown giants,

Finally giving in to the fight and letting it sink deep!!

Letting it sink deep that I was indeed pregnant,

But somehow finding a happy place amidst such turmoil,

Contrary to my expectations, with every movement I felt love, joy and renewed confidence!!

My tummy kept protruding however hard I tried to hide it_ so I thought,

I couldn't imagine this tiny being was growing to be bigger than I could ever hide,

And with every new day; there was always a new moment; a brutish reminder that I was pregnant!!

Sometimes it felt like a fire burning; trying out all humanly ways to quench itself,

Other times it felt calm and quiet; I guess the baby was asleep but still growing,

Making me feel so alive but at the same time scared of the unknown!!

All this while; thousands of questions running through my mind,

Will I be responsible enough?

Am I ready for this and strong enough to sustain it?

How about my family and friends?

But I somehow knew I was fully prepared for the task,

All set for both ridicules and genuine pats on my back,

I knew it won’t be easy; but I also knew it would be a new intimacy to enjoy;

From three months, to six, to nine and I was finally ready to push it out.

I was ready to bring forth my dream- My Divine Purpose!!

See, I didn't know I was pregnant with a dream,

With every sharp pain the intensity to push multiplied, every contraction paving a pathway to my baby- My Divine Purpose,

My waters broke and streamed like a constrained river finally free,

With every sweat-drop on my forehead; more in- built pressure to keep pushing,

With every firm grip on my delivery bed; joy rekindled,

Finally beholding a new hope; beauty in all its perfection,

Embracing my purpose; thanking God for the opportunity.

This time round; there was no giving up!

I was finally building a new hub; A new thinking perspective!

To nurture my purpose to maturity; and abundance thereafter!

My Purpose for Existence!

Mwende

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Ever felt your dream was dying out? Too small to be recognized?
This is for you!! 

To remind you that you can still dream again and live your purpose to the fullest_ Its not easy but its possible; Just like a Pregnancy!!

Man Re- Introduced

Man Re- Introduced

My young brother just turned 22 years and I am all excited.

Clearly having a young brother shouldn't be taken for granted; even though I have always admired big brothers, he’s turned out to be one of my sassy joys.

In my early years back in the village, I always wished I had a bigger brother and mamma struggled to explain why it wasn’t possible.

For just a few selfish reasons- so to speak; I needed to have one.

To see his furry and madness when boys tried to pursue his princess;

To enjoy dates and chocolates when dad complained that I was demanding too much;

To show off to my classmates who we’d fight with after school- they always seemed to win the fight and I needed to win someday.

A big brother who would somehow read my moods and notice when I wasn’t okay.

Talk of all these things that big brothers are expected to do- somehow we (the society) have placed heavy demands on their shoulders and failure isn't an excuse.

And my calm brother is slowly being oriented into this kind of sanity; recently he bought a girl chocolates with his pocket money just to prove a point_ and opted to walk to school (thank God for big sisters).

And that caught me thinking_ it’s been a month of reflection and flashbacks!

I have been thinking about them_ the big brothers, the young ones (just like my brother), the fathers, husbands, boyfriends… (And the list continues…).

About that young toddler who’s just about to be ushered into manly society.

About that teenager whose heart aches from betrayal; yet he’s only expected to be strong and carry on with life and its demands normally.

About that mid- age man in middle life crisis; trying to figure out his purpose_ the society expects him to fiercely face his dreams and so failure isn't allowed here.

About that father who just got a son and wonders how to raise him to be a man and guide him in the way he should go; when his walk as a father isn't all figured out.

About that man who just lost his best friend and can’t afford to shed a tear for his friend- because men shouldn't cry.

We (the society) have taught them...

To fight their emotions and dominate_ destroying their ability to interact.  

To take away love, emotions and fear_ rendering them powerless in claim for power (for true power is conceived in love and the ability to feel).

To work out their veins, fists and shoulders while neglecting the very man who lives within _ turning them into strong zombies who have no control over their bodies.

I have been thinking about them_ and to me (correct me if I'm wrong); man is the centre that holds our society.

To me, the man has to be re-introduced for society to stand…

That you don’t have to have everything all figured out to be a man,

That it’s okay to fail and still be a man_ you can rise up and forge forward as a man,

That you don’t have to own all the chocolates in this world to be a man_ you only need to be strategically positioned and refine the few chocolates within your influence,

That you don’t have to sleep around to prove a point_ and if you happen to, you still have the opportunity to correct it.

And all this while, my young brother has been watching…

He knows not how to be a man; but the society expects him to be one. And all this while, he’s been peeping into my notepad; hoping to pick one or two things about being a man_

"It’s okay to ask and still be a man, but please note that I can only hope that real man can be re- introduced from a manly point of view"_ I whispered calming, hoping not to interrupt. 

 My young brother…

If you can dream and work towards achieving those dreams; then you’re a man,

If you can keep your head high up when everyone else thinks you’re a looser; then you’re a man,

If you can fail only to try again and fail again_ but still choose to try one more time; then you’re a man,

If you can focus on real virtues and your inner man as twice as your physical body; then you’re a man,

If you can hold on when all seems gone except the will to hold on; then you’re a man,

If you can choose to ignore labels given to you to satisfy someone’s else fears; then you’re a man,

Brother…

If you are willing to serve others and freely give to those in need; then you’re a man,

If you are willing to re-define beauty as God defines it; then you’re a man,

If you can unveil the sorrows of the young boy trapped within you; allow yourself to cry out the agony; then you’re a man,

Brother, if you can accept the freedom you deserve and let go; then you are a man,

And I will always be here to offer you a safe embrace while you struggle to break loose… we all do,

I will always be here to remind you that shedding tears doesn't make you less of a man,

Looking forward to seeing you grow to be a real man,

And praying that God will bring your way real men to mentor you into manhood and together you will grow to bring back stability into our society as your re-define manhood.

With love from big sister,

Mwende

Dedicated to all men who once felt they weren't close to what society defined man to be.