I saw her

 

I saw her last night. 

Yes I did, and I couldn’t stop gazing at her; coz she was glowing.

And as it was always the case; she grabbed and hugged me tightly and for some reasons I felt peaceful. Our long chat which apparently felt too short I clearly recall; one which lasted for hours catching up after a really long period of time- close to 3 years. 

  

We laughed and giggled in excitement as I narrated to her how daddy would unconsciously mention her name amidst family gatherings, coffee tables and storytelling sessions and everybody would be silent for a while like something was amiss. In a shaken way, he would burble “I’m sorry, I meant……” and could go on and on apologizing for having mentioned her name.

  

How mummy couldn’t stop talking about her all day long and how my kid sister would cry every time she remembered those fun moments with her in Kajiado, Naivasha etc. - she was an excellent chef and we loved her home made food.

 

It’s now crystal clear that times have changed without her around and we all miss her.L

I continued, “We crave spending time with you auntie, your voice of calmness and tranquillity we desire to hear.” My deep feelings were simply portraiture of everyone in the family and all I kept thinking, “how can death be so cruel?” 

  

As we continued chatting she effortlessly exposed her dimpled smile and I loved it.

She looked happy, calm and healthy and at least from what I saw; she was fulfilled and complete.

  

In wholeness, I was free.

Certainly a cold breeze massaged the sole of my left foot and I woke up only to find it was a dream. But this one was uniquely placed, there was no forgetting.

The memories have always been intact in the part of the mind that minds will never have the guts to contemplate.

  

And like any other Christmas since she rested, it’s now the third one and we will dearly miss her.

R.I.P Auntie.

Mwende.



Real Man.

“If a man has no clear understanding of himself, can’t cultivate you, protect you and he’s not in God’s presence; then it’s good for that man to be alone”. - Myles Monroe

 

Real Man:

Gen 2: 15-16.

A Real man has a clear understanding of his self-image & confidence in God,

A Real man knows he’s not a replication of anything/anybody,
A Real man is found in the Presence of God (Eden) - Lady, not anywhere else,
A Real men works- he’s hardworking and knows what’s required of him,

 A Real man cultivates you- lady a real man should improve you and increase your value,

A Real man is a protector- You wanna abandon her? You aint no man,
A Real man doesn’t rape, violate his woman, commit incest on his little girl, or sodomize his son,
A Real man protects- Lady, don’t marry a man who can’t protect you,

 A Real man will teach you God’s word,

A Real man is a giver and a teacher- he’s not afraid you’ll see him worship,
A Real man has a deeper desire to know Him better,  
A Real man is a worshipper- David, Abraham, Moses were real men; real worshippers,

If a man has no clear understanding of himself,

If a man can’t cultivate you,
If a man can’t protect you,
If a man can’t teach you the word,
If that man has no vision and no plan for his life- then lady (Helper), you can’t help on nothing,

Mwende.

 

 

Mamma, Those Hands

Mamma; Those Hands

 

Look at those hands, aint they beautiful?

Everyone stares at them and calmly whispers, 'you got beautiful hands,'

Similar in different ways yet so unique all together,

Embracing other hands in unity amidst adversities,

Those hands have learnt to hold other hands, interlocked like a beautiful zipper of prayer,

Hands made in the image of God to embrace and show love,

 

Those hands are brilliant, holding the sick and sharing in their pain,

Touching the old and tenderly holding young ones,

Communicating with other hands in ways too deep to understand,

Those hands are the bravest and sweetest,

They are the maps and compasses that help us navigate the path of life,

Bold enough to face any challenge that comes their way,

Hands made in the image of God to embrace and show love,

 

Gone through fierce fire and left with only darks marks to show,

Wiping the tears thereof while still determined to climb up the ladder,

Those hands  work smart amidst all odds to achieve a better future for us,

Open to receive rosses of life while still ready to make lemonades if need be,

Those hands have set ten thousand supper tables yet still more strength lies in there,

Those hands restore hope to the hopeless and offer a home to the homeless,

Hands made in the image of God to embrace and show love,
 

Mamma those hands I adore,

Your hands have been a pillar of strength in our family,

Hands that never give up on us,

Mamma, those hands are beautiful and they will forever be,

Your daughter's left hand scribing,
Mwende.
 



One Mix

 

One Mix

She's writing this hoping you will read it someday,

And as she does this; her heart desires to see you one day,

But she's afraid her scars will be peeled afresh and so she'd rather not see you,  

Her  tears have dried up and she's no longer depressed,

And so she writes this with a sober mind and an objective spirit,

she writes hoping that you will hear her,

 

 

That Friday evening that you squeezed her hand,

 And for some reasons she was convinced,

In need for approval, acceptance and love, she fell for it,  

One kiss, one touch, one bed and two fallen souls found in one mix,

Her  innocence vanished; but more crucial her intimacy with God faded away,

she had become a culprit; trapped and entangled in sin,

 

 

And as she picked her pants from the floor; her soul felt empty than before,

Darkness felt thicker and her face coiled with shame,

She felt vulnerable and for the first time in her entire life; she was dying,

Our Heavenly Father chose her to live his word that dwelled in her,

But she chose to sin in secret and this will soon be reflected in her body,

She became a victim of her own decisions,

She felt lost and her eyes blurred; she couldn't see the light,

As she walked home in total despair; she desired to be free,

she's never prayed a prayer as hard as she did that night; pleading for his mercy,

She had lived dead for so long and the act that night was only a reflection of her inner death,

And as she helplessly fell on her shaky knees, she felt his mercy and grace touch her watery face,

At that point, she re-dedicated her life to God and was filled with zoe.

Briana has found her Identity in Christ; and she prays that you too will be found.

She's firmly grown in Faith,
Each day her heart's desire has been, 'Give me you, everything else can wait....'
Her baby girl conceived that night; now three years old is in good health.
She's always teaching her the ways of the Lord.

Key Lesson: God's unconditional love and forgiveness in our lives is immeasurable.
Sin has consequences irrespective of God's saving grace.
 

To be continued.....

Mwende

http://about.me/carolmwende

 

 



Please Pass Me The Salt.

Please pass me the salt.

Does anyone even know that you are a believer?

Do they even have a glimpse of your faith?

Do they have an idea of how your walk of faith has been lately?

Or is it only those that you go to church with?

At your workplace, school, home, do your actions portray or betray him?

Coz you might be the only example they have to know Christ!

Can they even substantiate the difference between your actions and theirs?

 See, the issue is you’re neither hot nor cold and am afraid he’s about to spit you out!

And you wonder why they look at you and despise the reality of Christianity!

Coz the huge gap between you and who you claim to be keeps glaring and widening!

You are a seed sown to season tasteless lives as you walk the talk,

When their loved ones are no more, in despair and hopelessness,

Can they approach you in believe that you will probably pray for them and ignite the healing process in their lives?

 

When they invite you for 'fun moments', do you still feel persuaded to follow?

Are you ashamed of declaring that your body is his temple to be kept holy for his glory?

See, like salt, you are called to retain your taste while still passing it to the rest of the world,

 
You are called to be medicinal; to preserve lives and deter decay,

And you wonder why the emergence of camouflaged “body of Christ”- the church?

Coz you are too worried about others’ opinions that you forget your essence for existence.

You are the salt of the earth,

Called to revive lives with a touch of his amazing love and mercy,

You are called to restore- to call back those lives in drugs and sexual addictions into his palace,

Called to guide and protect,

Protect those new born babies in faith while guiding them in the way of the Lord,

You are called to pass the salt into their lives and let them see the Christ in you,

Christ didn’t stretch out his life on the cross in hiding,

He did it openly and in daylight for all to see, yet our testimonies of his redemption lay low in silence,
Would you therefore stand tall and let him be known; let your actions and words walk in harmony,

In confidence let the world know that you were indeed redeemed,

For while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,

Jesus is counting on you big time,

Would you now please pass me the salt,

Mwende

My Golden Key

 

My Golden Key

Life wouldn’t be any better,

Without you it can only feel worse further,

See how you bring all the difference by filling it with laughter!

With all honesty I must confess that it feels jovial and sweeter!

 

 

You fill my spirit with sheepish smiles,

You make my steps easier through the tough miles,

You rest my swollen eyes from long cries,

Always helping me see the stars up my skies,

 

 

Like a key that can only unravel a specific lock,

My dreams you unlatch,

A golden key that feels like an immovable rock,

A rare key that has turned out to be a sure mark,

 

 

You are the only key that can access the goodies in my soul,

Before you came into the picture life felt fowl,

Like a bad omen is to an owl,

 You are irresistible my love and with you, life’s cool,

 

 

And I now confidently know you are the one,

With you I deliberately choose to dine,

We both know that times have been tricky and almost like acne,

But we also know our love has grown stronger and divine,

 

 

You are adorable to my breath,

The only one who firmly holds my heart beneath,

Your calm and truthful spirit is of great worth,

I’m moved by how much you care about my health!

 

 

Your zeal to love I appreciate,

A risky decision yet with boldness and courage,

That tender squeeze that you generously give does wonders,

Always fulfilling and a craving desire for more,

 

 

You have become more than just a friend,

For your laughter and a heart so mild to me is more than gold,

The pat on my back that speaks louder in storms of thick cloud,

Now you know you’re always on my mind,

 

 

I love spending quality time with you,

I enjoy the deep feelings I have for you but even more what glues us together,

Always wishing more time was available for- just me and you,

You make me better by bringing out the best in me,

 

 

Those simple dates you surprise me with,

Those assuring words that you whisper into my ears,

Those stares in your zealously- chiseled eyes that say that you really care,

Those things I treasure my dove,

 

 

And so I’m not losing this key,

I will guard it will all vigilance,

I will tie it close to my heart- from whereth flows the springs of life,

So  Help me God!

 

Mwende.

 



THE MONSTER WE ALL DREAD

THE MONSTER WE ALL DREAD

 

You always feel the same way,

Regardless of place, age, gender or even social class,

Forever sorrowful and extremely agonizing,

The ugly and huge gap you aggressively create amidst us,

 

You fill our eyes with bitterness and sorrowful tears,

Breaking us to pieces that will never be recollected,

Our hearts agonize and cry restlessly,

The unbearable pain of separation kills us slowly,

 

You stab our hearts with a crave to harm us,

Our weak bodies shiver with pain of their loss,

And for no good reason, we never know how much we love them until they’re gone;

Crushing our feeble hearts into ashes,

 

You always feel the same way,

Regardless of place, age, gender or even social class,

Glaring images of them fill our intangible eyes;

A painful wish to enjoy their presence one more time,

 

The bitter truth echoes that we will never see them again;

Treasuring their moments remains our only bitter choice,

You painfully deprive us the love of our lives,

The only opportunity for our happiness,

 

The crave to embrace them and behold their kisses,

The desire to smile back with love irresistible,

Only to realize those bright days are long gone with the wind;

Exchanged with dark gloomy days full of agony and tears surround us,

 

You always feel the same way,

Regardless of place, age, gender or even social class,

The beauty of oneness is no more,

The laughter of joy and passion for life remains a puzzle,

 

Their absence yells loud in our midst;

The empty wish to see them will never die in our hearts,

And now we know; nothing good will ever come out of you;

You are the deadly monster that we dread,

 

But hear this clear from a butchered heart that no longer dreads you,

You are a looser and for this reason we rejoice,

We rejoice and our joy is complete,

Yes their bodies are lifeless and deep down buried,

But their souls you have no power over,

 

You always feel the same way,

Regardless of place, age, gender or even social class,

However we rejoice coz we know they are safe,

We rejoice because our union will soon be realized,

 

And forever we shall rule over you,

Don't you know you are defeated?

Yes you are,

Now and forever!

 

Mwende.