CHOOSING A NEW PATHWAY

CHOOSING A NEW PATHWAY

When I'm tirelessly working so hard to afford chocolates when I crave them; something else sweeter shows up and I am constantly required to work twice as hard,

When I am out living my life and everything seems just ok; I am persuaded to go out and love,

When I am out loving and being the best that I can possibly be; situations come up and I realise how unloving I can be,

And the worst it can get is being comfortable with where I am today.

This has been my tussle_ until I finally realised that it is the way for all humanity,

Life will not always be where you want it to be_ we all hunger for more,

And as soon as we get that which we thought was treasureous; it seizes being important,

You wonder why we toiled so hard to get it!

While you are busy trekking because you can’t afford bus fare, someone is busy “throwing” parties to strangers and transport is the last thing they can think of,

While you are bitten down mourning a loved one and tears have become your daily bread; someone else just beheld their bundle of joy- a flawless new-born baby,

While you are busy wailing about how troublesome your pregnancy has become; someone just hit their menopause and pregnancy officially vacated their thought box,

While you are busy complaining about that job that you can’t stand anymore; someone has tarmacked for years and all they pray for is something to keep them busy,

While you are busy frustrating and intimidating your companion; someone dreams of creating a haven of love around them,

It so seems for all this while, we all have been transitioning to a higher spot; and the only difference is the stage you are at as an individual,

Until we realise this; we will always suffocate in unhealthy competitions and battles,

While we should be creating a self-made world of our own- a utopia of happiness,

I too I’ve struggled to break loose; until I came to a place of contentment,

A point in life taught me to hold myself gently but also accountable,

To dream bigger than myself, build wider as I strive for greater heights,

But yet it didn’t come without a lapse to remind me that I too can fail just like everyone else,

My worldviews began to speak louder and I began to live within my thoughts and aspirations,

And just when I was getting used to something, something else fancier came up,

A new building, a new friend and a new boy following me around_ and I constantly got mad because he said something that I wished someone else should have said,

What I once knew as truth soon or later became incomplete and I was required to pursue more,

Today I have a clearer picture of my purpose for living,

But I still spend a lot of my time wondering if I should be somewhere else,

Whether I should be in school pursuing my career; or out there building my home,

Whether I should be doing something larger than myself; or working on myself to be a  reflection of the world I would wish to see,

I am constantly found in pursuit of patience and strength to keep going; I stumble every day in trail for more grace,

But finally I have chosen a new pathway...

To coil every single moment with appreciation,

To be thankful for the places I’ve been to even when I thought I shouldn’t be there,

To smile about the moments I worried and cried because I thought I couldn’t make it,

To be grateful for the days gone and the laughter that was while it lasted.

I have learnt to write down those beautiful moments_ who knows; I might smile about them some day when I’m sad and draw strengthen from them,

I have learnt to write down those gloomy moments when I couldn’t hold myself together_ who knows; they might remind me in my twinkle days that life is a risk_ it only depends on how risky I want to be.

 It is a done deal!

Mwende